Thursday, 24 March 2016

False Alarm

It is either winning or losing, I will still give my best smile for you.

Sorry because it was just a short one. I just need to write something.
Feeling a lil bit of stress out right now. Truly sorry.

Friday, 18 March 2016

Old Days

Back to where I wasn’t ready to confront others and told them about my journey, I used to be a very secretive person and you will never know about me. Never.

I used to hold grudges to those people who told me that I am fat, I have a big butt, my tudung is selekeh and the most irritating and sad thing was when there was this one boy making jokes around saying that I made the whole world shaking (baca:bumi bergegar) when I walked and he told me to stop walking at the balcony. It terrified me everytime I walk in front of men now.

What did I do then?

I cried obviously. But that won’t solve any of the problems I stated up there.
So what I actually did to overcome those pathetic fear?

Firstly, I started to think positive and left my fears behind. It took me quite a lot of time and effort but if your first planned was to make yourself feel less fear, joyful and positive, why should you worry.
After I managed to make myself clear about the vision that I wanted to achieve, I started to make a list and start doing it. The very first thing that I thought would be a good turned out to me was to lose some weight, and I did it. I lost 10kg in 3 months, Alhamdulillah. After all the effort I’ve been through, the result was remarkable! I continue the routine (cardio, running, yoga) for about 2 years and stop after entering matrics. I managed to lose 30kg in total. Its not that I stop after entering matrics, I just stop doing all the routines that I used to do back then. I stick with running at least, thanked god! With just that, I didn’t manage to lose weight, but I managed to maintain it, ok la kan. Oh by the way, my weight was 90kg back then.

I almost giving myself up here because stress leads me to bad food. I watched my diet here, but the food here are all like a total seduction to my unconscious mind. But I will start my diet plan and routine in a month time in shaa allah after I finished matrics. Let’s take further look and information about my journey in here yes?

So whatever it is, stop complaining and start moving! Make a healthy choice to yourself and your love ones. Have a great future ahead! In shaa allah.

Sunday, 13 March 2016

Buat Seketul Perasaan

Dia biasa je, tapi perasaan kau yang terkinja. Kah!

Orang lain sibuk berperang lawan nafsu syaiton untuk masa depan, ya dan aku pun apa kurangnya. Tapi aku punya berperang tu ada terselit satu kisah lain yang mana aku kena berperang lawan nafsu perasaan.

Pernah dulu jadi macam ni la. Sebijik. Seketul Haiqal tak boleh lawan perasaan sampai satu tahap dia jadi sakit. Bukan orang tahu. Tak, buat apa nak bagi orang tahu. Itu lah yang dia cakap.

Perasaan yang sepatutnya kau jaga, kau biar dia tak terkunci malah kau letak dia dalam raga seolah-olah mudahnya dia untuk dijaja.

Tapi above all, ini tak teruk. Kes dulu lagi teruk sebab dulu takde seorang orang pun yang tahu pasal masalah perasaan yang timbul waktu tu. & I managed to get through it through a set(50x) of ringkuk tubi, push-up, star jump &  1L of water before I went to sleep with severe pain. Dan bila rasa tu masih tak boleh ditangani, aku ber-yoga huhuhuhuh.

Mungkin cara aku approach perasaan aku untuk kenal orang adalah salah. Aku perasan setiap lelaki yang aku jumpa dalam hidup aku, aku nak suka diorang. Dan malangnya aku tahu itu memang bodoh. Setiap yang aku kenal dalam hidup aku, aku tahu Tuhan tak datangkan dengan sia-sia. Sebahagian yang datang mungkin muncul sebagai kenalan untuk aku berukhuwah sampai ke sorga dan sebahagian lagi mungkin dihadirkan untuk aku kenal isi donia yang kerap buat dalaman aku rapuh serapuh eggtart yang aku buat. Alkisahnya yang paling utama keadaan aku yang kurang selidik perasaan aku ni buat aku jadi tak tentu arah macam benda tu benda paling susah untuk aku sebagai seketul perempuan yang berjiwa kecil dan berbadan besar untuk handle.

Semoga perasaan ini boleh hilang seperti mudahnya angin meniup daun kering menuju ke kawasan yang angin tu rasa dia nak letak daun tu dan pada satu tahap daun kering tu hilang sebab hayat dia dah sampai dipenghujung waktu. Aku tahu, penulisan aku memang hiperbola.

Tuesday, 1 March 2016

Beauty | Is Beauty A Crime?

I once asked my friend, a girl, about this and I don’t expect her to respond such in a way she did.

What do you think about beauty? Do women use their beauty to attract the boys?

Beauty is a common thing nowadays. There are men out there who are searching for a woman without make ups and modern attires. Its simple. You and your attitude must be at the top of the Statue of Liberty, like it should be higher than that.Always remember that natural beauty is not going anywhere to be compared to, its beyond everything. It will never lose. Furthermore, beauty is not an immortal presence, well that you should know! If the guys are searching for a perfect head-to-toe, they should buy a doll instead, a Barbie I must say. I object the ‘Do women use their beauty to attract boys’, I mean, come on, I hope there is no woman will speak her voice out that her beauty is beyond everything that if a man ever see her, they would fall for her because of her beauty hides her imperfections.

If I were able to spread the positive vibes to all the women out there about how beauty, weight, height, appearances & etc wont tear your personalities apart, I am more than honoured! So, keep spreading the good and positive vibes to your environment so that the world is packed with billions of positive people.