Saturday, 8 June 2013

Tell Us Something About You

As you all know what is this all about, the title.

I am sixteen. My name is Haiqal Qadrini Binti Zainuren and i am not thin. My weight is actually above seventy kilograms and ya, its true. So before this i always have that one terrible moment when people first asked about my weight and i have never answered them because i am too shy. I am afraid of being humiliated by people around me. So i took a decision, not to tell people about my weight, ever. And now, i am not even relieved yet because i still can see a large amount of fat lives inside of me. Actually, within this couple of years of having a real life as a student, mayn, i tell you, it was not a really enjoyable moment for me. Never.

It started to happen because of their...................

They really dont have that one kind of good behaviour when someone starts to talk about something. Ehm, women la especially. People, stop making me feel bad about my weight la wey. You really dont know that one feeling when you've said to someone,
'Gemok gila kau ni!'
'Pergh, peha dia sebelah je dah boleh cover bontot aku'
'Macam badak doh dia ni'
when i am there, sitting right next to you! Dont you think that i might having that 'down' moment for a second because i am just like them. Think la wey before you want to say something. Ehm, do you even like if i call you, 'anorexia nervosa' like everyday? Nyampah lagi ada la kan? So after this, before you want to say something bad about me, you better watchauttt first!

Ehm, to be thin? Well, at some point i really got that major problem of giving this all up, like stop what i am doing now (try to lose some weight) and continue to sleep like a rhino. But really, i cannot stand of their sarcasm and the berlagak glances as if i am not a human. For some people, they cried too, but deep inside, its more than kind of being hurted by someone. To make this thing sounds like more rational en, stop hurting people la wey.

I am tired of begging. Really.